Alex

1. //**﻿Alexandrea Gaistman**// 2. //**An Approved Topic:** Fear is one of the dominant themes of the Chrysalids// //**Thesis:** The// Chrysalids //suggests that our society—past and present—uses fear to manipulate those who do not share the same bel**ie**fs (great thesis, but watch your spelling, Mr.A) // //3.// Brainstorming Worksheet 4. //**Essay Outline:**// 5. **First Draft of your Essay:** //Intro:// Many individuals allow fear to take control of their lives; this can create anguish ﻿﻿﻿Try agony instead of anguish . In fact, numerous people are controlled by others who play with their nightmares. The Chrysalids suggests that our society—past and present—uses fear to manipulate those who do not share the same beliefs. (Thesis should be the last sentence of the intro) John Wyndham proposes that today’s tactics are much like the village of Waknuk’s (﻿No 's in Waknuk). Joseph Strorm uses many of our government’s methods in order to gain the town’s cooperation. He does so by tampering with their emotions and mind-set. Joseph had convinced Waknuk that deviations are demons that thrive off of humanity’s sufferings and only do harm to our world. Neighbors are tortured and abused in order to obtain information and tribulation is a huge, discouraging shadow which stalks its citizens. (Neighbours)

//Edit:// Many individuals allow fear to take control of their lives; this can create agony. In fact, numerous people are controlled by others who play with their nightmares. In his novel, //The Chrysalids//, John Wyndham proposes that today’s tactics are similar to those of his fictional setting of Waknuk. Their leader uses many of our government’s methods in order to gain the town’s cooperation. He does so by tampering (find a better words than "tampering")  with their emotions and mind-sets. He has convinced Waknuk that deviations are demons that thrive off of humanity’s sufferings and only do harm to their world. Neighbours are tortured and abused in order to obtain information and tribulation is a huge, discouraging shadow that stalks all its citizens. As such, the Chrysalids suggests that our society—past and present—uses fear to manipulate those who do not share the same beliefs. much better intro, than your previous. I hope that you can comprehend the difference.

//Edit 2:// Many individuals allow fear to take control of their lives; this can create agony. In fact, numerous people are controlled by others who play with their nightmares. In his novel, //The Chrysalids//, John Wyndham proposes that today’s tactics are similar to those of his fictional setting of Waknuk. Their leader uses many of our government’s methods in order to gain the town’s cooperation. He does so by altering their emotions and mind-sets. He has convinced Waknuk that deviations are demons that thrive off of humanity’s sufferings and only do harm to their world. Neighbours are tortured and abused in order to obtain information and tribulation is a huge, discouraging shadow that stalks all its citizens. As such, //The Chrysalids// suggests that our society—past and present—uses fear to manipulate those who do not share the same beliefs. much improved

//Body #1:// The ‘norm’ is the only thing (never use the word "thing" in an Eng paper, it's a vague word) acceptable in Waknuk; individuals with impurities (awkward word) are exiled to the Fringes due to fear. Those who do not share the same feelings towards these ‘deviations’ are not accepted in the community. A huge (how huge? didn't we speak about this word?) example of this is between the Wender family The word "between" does not belong, tell me why! . Their daughter - Sophie, does not follow the ‘true image’ for she has six –instead of five—toes on each of her feet. Because of this oddity, she is hidden from society under the keen watch of her parents. If Sophie were to be discovered, her life would immediately turn upside down (avoid colloquial expressions) – and it did the minute her family decided to flee from discriminating eyes. They were caught and Sophie was mutilated, her parents not heard of again. Tossed into the Fringes, she was left to defend herself. All of this an act of terror against the unknown for Sophie had mutated limbs. Another example is when Joseph Strorm – the dictator figure in the book, sets out to destroy his own children when he discovers that they are mentally deviant. David and Petra Strorm along with their cousin Rosalind and companions (Michael, Rachel, Sally, Anne, Katherine and Mark) are all able to telepathically interact with one another. Due to this, Joseph has no remorse when pursuing his own flesh and blood because they are ‘ominous blasphemies’. He has lived with both children for their entire life and knows that they are not malicious monsters and yet he still chooses hatred over acceptance. Joseph has grown up a bigot and died with the same mentality. [Insert historical event here]. By preaching the //Book of Repentance// and //The Bible//, Joseph Strorm was able to convince Waknuk that imperfections are adulterations through manipulating the community’s apprehensions. (all great examples, but where us the connection to your thesis, especially fear. Also, provide page citations for quotes or examples)

I did not read your 2nd par. Please address any similar challenges from par. 1

//Body #2:// In Waknuk, neighbours turn on neighbours if there is evidence that they are – or hiding, a blasphemy. Katherine and Sally had grown up with the same people who had arrested them due to the suspicion that they were impure. Katherine had been tortured until she had grown unconscious where as Sally tried to avoid the abuse and came clean about her secret. Through fear, the citizens had resulted in depredations and through fear Sally had talked. Even though it was one common reason which supported their actions, there was a different motive behind each. Sally had been frightened that she would have to undergo the cruelty Katherine had endured and so she had caved. Society, however, had mistreated Katherine because of the terror Joseph had placed into them. Although, in this case demons that had no physical disparities, but mental ones was mind blowing to the people of Waknuk. The contemplation that there could be deviants and they wouldn’t even know scared them. It had also given them a more vicious obligation; to destroy all of the mental profanities in order to hinder their reproduction and study them for future reference. They put no thought to their actions, just the raw emotion of self-preservation. This proves that people—even if you have known them your whole life—can transform into fearful beings due to their outlook on life.

//Body #3:// Tribulation is the base in which everyone’s fears spring from. Take Old Jacob as an example, grumbling on and on about the subject like a mad man (pg. 87). His crops had all been deviational and he felt as though worse was to come. Jacob had mentioned that this was the dawn of another precipice of tribulation. His worries mimicked the majority of Waknuk which grew fearful at the mention of ‘God’s wrath’. This terror was the key in controlling the community. Through preaching //The Book of Repentance// and //The Bible//, Joseph was able to gain Waknuk’s faith. He gave them reason to believe that those with imperfections are demons and strange occurrences meant the threat of Tribulation. Through religion not only is Joseph able to manipulate his society, but our world is also influenced by it. Many beliefs send preachers out in order to try and convert others. They use fear and hope to their advantage to draw people into their faith. This proves that not only can fear drive others away, but it may also bring people with the same beliefs closer together.

// C //onclusion: //The Chrysalids// implies that society uses fear in order to influence those of different faiths faith is too strong a word. The community tries to turn our ‘normal’ into ‘perfection’, making us believe there is only one way to look and act avoid personal language. The government creates different opinions for people that can turn into quarrels and even war. Additionally, religion plays a role in our environment for it effects the entire population how is religion related to your thesis? . Fear may possess many manipulative traits but we must remember that our own opinions are just as powerful. Even though tragedies occur all the time, we have to be able to stand tall take out "stand tall" it's cliche and maintain our beliefs instead of allowing them to morph. Culture may have a hard grip on us, but everyone posses the ability to break free.

//Body #1 edit://

The ‘norm’ is the only concept acceptable in Waknuk; individuals with small imperfections – such as blemishes, are exiled to the Fringes due to fear. Those who do not share the same feelings towards these ‘deviations’ are not accepted in the community. An example of this involves the Wender family. Their daughter, Sophie, does not follow the ‘true image’ for she has six toes on each of her feet. Because of this oddity, she is hidden from society under the keen watch of her parents. If Sophie were to be discovered, her life would become difficult – and it did the minute her family decided to flee from fear due to discriminating eyes switch 2nd half of sentence to the present tense . They were caught and Sophie was mutilated, her parents not heard of again (Pg. 56 & 167). Tossed into the Fringes, she was left to defend herself. All of this an act of terror against the unknown for Sophie had mutated limbs. Another example is when Joseph Strorm – the dictator figure in the book, sets out to destroy his own children when he discovers that they are mentally deviant. David and Petra Strorm along with their cousin Rosalind and companions (Michael, Rachel, Sally, Anne, Katherine and Mark) are all able to telepathically interact with one another. Due to this, Joseph has no remorse when pursuing his own flesh and blood because they are ‘ominous blasphemies’ (pg.181). He has lived with both children for their entire life and knows that they are not malicious monsters and yet he still chooses hatred over acceptance. Joseph has grown up a bigot and died with the same mentality. Joseph uses many of today’s tactics to gain the people’s co-operation. Much like Joseph, Monsanto uses fear to gain money and business. They manufacture seed which are genetically modified so they are unaffected by herbicides. However, these seeds are easily caught in the wind and spread to other Farmers’ fields. This creates numerous hardships for the Farmers because if agents catch them with Monsanto seeds that were not bought, they will be sued. Many Farmers go bankrupt from the legal bills and so the company gets what it wants; money. Additionally, Farmers grow fearful of having Monsanto’s seeds blow into their fields, and so they purchase the product to avoid problems. Similar to Monsanto’s approach, Joseph Strorm was able to convince Waknuk that imperfections are adulterations through manipulating the community’s apprehensions. make sure that you're analyzing in the present tense. Also, where is your discussion of fear? Fear is a key part of your thesis. Where does it appear in your par. Simply saying that they flee because of fear does not constitute analysis. You have to argue that fear is making Joseph and the Waknuk act the way they do

// Body #2 edit: //

In Waknuk, neighbours turn on neighbours if there is evidence that they are – or hiding, a blasphemy. Katherine and Sally had grown up with the same people who had arrested them due to the suspicion that they were impure. Katherine had been tortured until she had grown unconscious where as Sally tried to avoid the abuse and came clean about her secret. Through fear, the citizens had resulted in depredations and through fear Sally had talked. Even though it was one common reason which supported their actions, there was a different motive behind each. Sally had been frightened that she would have to undergo the cruelty Katherine had endured and so she had caved. Society, however, had mistreated Katherine because of the terror Joseph had placed into them (pg.124). Although, in this case demons that had no physical disparities, but mental ones was mind blowing to the people of Waknuk. The contemplation that there could be deviants and they wouldn’t even know scared them. It had also given them a more vicious obligation; to destroy all of the mental profanities in order to hinder their reproduction and study them for future reference. They put no thought to their actions, just the raw emotion of self-preservation. Much the same as this example, the American Civil War dealt with war between states. They had been one country at some point, torn because their viewpoints were different. One believed in slavery, while the other believed in freedom which created tension between the different states. The side which wanted slavery to continue grew fearful of change and so they had resulted to war in order to prevent liberty. This proves that people—even if you have known them your whole life—can transform into fearful beings due to their outlook on life.

6. //** Simin, Danilo , Willie **// 7. Good Copy in MLA format

__//** Person 1 - Introdution **//__ . __//** Person 2 - Body Paragraphs **//__ . ﻿. __//** Person 3 - Conclusion **//__
 * 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis?**
 * 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**
 * 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters?**
 * 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**
 * 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary.**
 * 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending?**
 * 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**