Eleanor

1.Your name Eleanor G- Nielsen 2. An Approved Topic

In The Chrysalids people abuse religion by using it as an excuse for their unlawful acts. ( Good thesis, but slight grammar challenge)
 * Thesis**;

Intro

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The Bible states as one of the "Ten Commandments" "Thou (I've got next to no knowledge on the religious side, but wouldn't 'thou' be capitalized?) shall not take the name of the lord ('Lord' is a name/title) your God ('God' is a name) in vain’’. People perceive this commandment in different ways; for instance, some say it means that you should not use the name of the Lord in an unworthy context. Others say it means to not use the Lord’s ('Lord's' is a name/title) name and faith as a loophole to freely exhibit immoral behaviour. (I would switch the semi-colon for a colon, get rid of 'for instance', and connect the two sentences with a comma.) religion (capitalize) should not be (a[n{depending on if you switch out the word}]) voucher ('voucher' tends to be a written document of some sort, I wouldn't use this word) to execute hideous acts. In the chrysalides (capitalize the title and either italicize or underline, and fix the spelling of the title ) people abuse religion by using it as an excuse for their unlawful acts. =====

You seem to be jumping from being general to your thesis: try to find a moderate ground between being general and the thesis (sentences relating to the novel but not your thesis). Good job not starting off mentioning The Chrysalids, though. Also, remember in your good copy to be consistent with font type.

The Bible states as one of the " Ten Commandments" " Thou shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain".People percieve this commandment in different way: for instance, some say it means that you should not use the Lord's name in an unworthy context.Others say you should not use the Lord's name and faith as a loophole to freely exhibit immoral behavior as they do many times in The Chrysalids.Religion should not give you free rien to execute hideoud acts.In The //Chrysalids the// people of Waknuk abuse religion by using it as an excuse for their unlawfull acts.

Religious beliefs can be used to mask the true motivation behind ones self-righteous behaviour. David’s father and Angus Morton had a constant rivalry due to the fact they shared a field and were continually competing for success. Each one was always looking to foil the others chances at achievement by searching for deviations in the others crops. Thus forcing each other to destroy their hard work and start over again. This rivalry came to a head after vAngus came in position of two large horses. David’s father could see the advantage that these horses would give Angus because they did twice the work of regular horses. He immediately began to utilize the town’s strict rule against all blasphemies to have the horses removed from Angus’s farm. He was using his religious beliefs to justify his own personal vendetta against Angus. Jealousy and vengefulness’ was his motivation but religion was his weapon.

Faith can drive you to do many things that in the light of day are cruel and inhuman. This is illustrated in the events that followed the disappearance of several thought people. Filled with intimidation and frightened by the mystery of the thought people, the inspector tortured Katherine and Sally. This gave him the feeling of empowered and control over an ability that seemed uncontrollable. His powerful conviction gave him the right to torcher two innocent girls who, through no fault of their own had been given this gift. What made it freighting was that he could perform these unthinkable acts with a clear conscience. To inflict pain on two venerable girls who just happened to be born a blasphemy is not justifiable because of a religious right.

Using religious beliefs to take away a person’s basic right to bear children is callous and cruel. In Waknuk they customarily sterilize most mutants for the purpose of controlling sett mutation from being repeated or passed down. They had an ideal`` norm`` that they wanted to be preserved. It did not matter whether a mutation that was a significant threat or just a minor difference in physicality. In Waknuk all mutations are unacceptable. This was shown in the case of Sophie, who was sterilized because of one tiny irrelevant extra toe. The desire to bear children is instinctual and is often the one thing many peoples live's meaning. It is inhuman to distroy a person’s chance of having kids. It does not matter if you are doing it because it is your religious conviction that all mutation's are wrong. All living things are meant to reproduce, and it is criminal to let religion judge who gets this right.

We have seen through these examples how religion can be used as a licence to inflict pain and suffering in an attempt to control others to and get your own way.War, crime,violence and discrimination are all things we see in our world today that can driven by religious opinion. P ﻿ eople are using their religious beliefs to do so many horrific things when they know their real modivation is not in the name of their faith.If people believe that “thou shall not use the name of the lord your god in vain” then why do we? body#1 the big horses body#2 torturing body#3 sophie body #1 -
 * EXAMPLES**

3. Brainstorming Worksheet

4. Essay Outline 5. First Draft of your Essay

6. Peer Comments Adrian, Fatima , Jeewon , Malisha

Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph **1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis?** **2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**

Person 2 - Body Paragraphs **1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters?** **2.****How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**

Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph **1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary.** **2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending?** **3.****How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**

7. Good Copy in MLA format