jordanakaye

2. An Approved Topic -Discuss the idea of deviations. what purpose does it serve in the novel -Thesis: The Chrysalids uses the concept of deviations to show that everyone should be accepted into society, "deviational" or not. (thesis is approved)

4. Essay Outline Paragraph #1: -Question to relate to the reader? (maybe) -discuss how people are always discriminated against and always have been for various ridiculous reasons -Discuss how people are not willing to accept differences and should be more open-minded -thesis

Paragraph #2: -First impressions -don't judge a book by it's cover -appearance -communication skills -overall demeanor -discuss how people are judged so harshly on first impressions -people are constantly trying to impress to gain the approval of others

Paragraph #3: -Differences that we choose not to accept -How we look, dress, act, speak etc. -Waknuk chose not to accept Sophie because of the number of toes she has -Fear of the unknown -anyone sent to the fringes was sent because Waknuk was afraid of different


 * Possible paragraph to contradict thesis to make argument stronger

Paragraph #4: -differences that are challenging to accept -mental and physical disabilities that prevent those from keeping up with others -discuss how telepathy would be challenging to accept

Paragraph #5: -conclusion -summarize arguments -restate thesis in different words

*cut out of essay

==== Many people can say that they have been excluded from certain groups or events at some point in their lives. Occasionally, (add comma) people are discriminated because of significant factors that others may find extremely challenging to accept; more often than not, however, people are shunned from society because of minor differences that people simply //choose// not to accept. This is one of society’s most compelling problems. People are so narrow-minded about what is normal and what is considered deviational. In //The Chrysalids//, John Wynham has created "deviations" that are so extreme to emphasize how important it is to welcome those with differences into society along with everyone else. //The Chrysalids// uses the concept of deviations to show that everyone should be accepted into society, "deviational" or not. BIG improvement from your previous intro....start on the body pars. ==== ====People put so much effort towards impressing and gaining the approval of others. This is how the world works. People have to work so hard just to be accepted into society and then even harder to maintain a decent reputation. Until recently, the USA would not allow any homosexuals to participate in the military and came up with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy so that any secretly homosexual people in the military were kept unknown. In //The Chrysalids//, Sophie had to conceal that she had an extra toe on each foot (pg 12-13), David and his friends had to hide the fact that they were telepathic, and Aunt Harriet had to protect her child from the inspector because of a birth mark (pg 73), all in order to be accepted into society and not labelled deviational. Aunt Harriet and her new-born child's situation is the most absurd of the three. There are so many people that have birth marks now that they are considered "normal." John Wynham created a character with a "little blemish of the body" (pg73) and has had his other characters react so strongly and negatively towards it. A small birth mark has caused this character to be hated and labeled deviational, even by family. Family are supposed to be the people who love you most, not the ones who hate you and refuse to accept you. If everyone with a blemish of the skin were to be treated as poorly and intolerably as Aunt Harriet's child, the majority of us would not receive a certificate and would be sent to the Fringes. The concept of deviations is so ridiculous to begin with that to consider someone deviational because of a birth mark is unbelieval. This is one of the most alarming scenarios in //The Chrysalids// and it helps you realize that people should not be considered deviational because of unconventional aspects of their appearance. Although they shouldn't be, first impressions are very important. People assume that they know someone just based on their appearance or the way that they speak, and if they don't like what is on the outside, usually they don't even bother to get to know the inside. This is where the concept of deviations initiates from; snap judgements and ridiculous assumptions. Why do people hide or change aspects about themselves to make a good first impression in order to fit in with society?* ==== ==== In many cases, people choose not to accept others' differences. Most of the time this is because people are afraid of change or of learning something new. Someone might have trouble fitting in with society because their height may be above or below average, because they dress differently, practice a different religion than the majority etc. These are all aspects that may be new to others and somewhat frightening, because many people fear the unknown. Instead of facing this fear and accepting everyone into society, people choose to avoid it, hoping, in a sense, that it will go away. Waknuk decided to rid themselves of anyone who did not fit the " definition of man" (pg 13) and their concept of normality (deviations) by sending them to the Fringes. Sending these people away was Waknuk's way of coping with this fear without actually having to admit to being afraid. Sophie kept her feet covered at all times because of her extra toes because she and her family new that the citizens of Waknuk would refuse to accept her toes. Sophoe's family new that Waknuk would be horrified by the sight of her feet and would most certainly send her away, if not worse. It is likely that Sophie lived her life certain that it would be impossible for her to be admitted into society, until she met David. David first meets Sophie before John Wynham reveals that Sophie has a couple of extra toes. Sophie seems like a kind, friendly, ordinary child and the fact that her feet look a bit different from most does not change any of this. Her unconventional feet are not significantly noticable, as David states "I didn't even notice then that it had more than the usual number of toes..." (pg 9). Sophie is considered a deviation, though there is nothing wrong with her. Sophie is excluded from society along with all others considered different, when really she should be accepted like everyone else .Avoiding fear is not a permanent solution because eventually this fear will be encountered again. If you were afraid of the dark, avoiding the dark would only be affective until it was time to go to bed that night. The sensible solution would be to face your fear of darkness and so to speak, nip it in the butt. People have this attitude toward all irrational fears except for fear of the unknown, even though fear of the unknown is the most irrational of fears. How can you be afraid of something if you don't know what it is? If everyone faced their fear of the unknown the concept of deviations would be nonexistent. Instead, people choose the simpler path, to avoid and deny the acceptance of others considered different. ==== ====People are discriminated because of differences that others choose not to accept, although this is not always the case. The exception being when others find a person's differences extremely challenging to accept. David, his sister Petra, his cousin Rosalind and some others are telepathic, meaning that they can communicate with each other without having to speak or motion anything and that they can read each other's minds. This is an example of a difference that would be difficult to accept, though not impossible, as Uncle Axel proves (pg 30). Uncle Axel continues to love and treat David the way he always had, despite now knowing of David's telepathic powers. Unfortunatly, Uncle Axel is an exception. None of the other citizens of Waknuk are anywhere near as accepting of David and his friends when their secret is revealed. It is likely that Waknuk is horrified of what telepaths are capable of, which explains why they wanted David and his friends captured. They wanted to know what they were up against. David is the son of one of the most religious men in Waknuk and was very well-liked until it is revealed that he is a deviation. David was discriminated against and considered a threat to society in an instant. David has had this power for his entire life and was never a threat to anyone, so why would he suddenly become a threat now that Waknuk is aware of his telepathic abilities? He and his friend were accepted before their secret got out and should continue to be accepted, despite their uncommon abilities. ====

People are discriminated from society for various reasons, whether it be that they have a physical difference that society chooses not to accept, (Aunt Harriet's child's birth mark, Sophie's extra toes) or a difference in mental wellness and personality that society may find very difficult to accept (David and his telepathic abilities). In an ideal world, deviations would not exist. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world, as the chrysalids proves by using over-the-top examples of discrimination of differences. There are always going to be people who are different, and this novel teaches you not to isolate them, but to accept them, all differences aside. The Chrysalids helps you realize that nobody should have to hide who they are, like Sophie and David did. It is a shame that people are books that are so harshly judged by their covers that most of the time these books are not even opened, let alone read.

5. First Draft of your Essay

6. Peer Comments -SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!! -VICTORIA!!!! -JOHN!!!!!!!!!!! 7. Good Copy in MLA format

Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph
 * 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis?**
 * 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**

Person 2 - Body Paragraphs
 * 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters?**
 * 2.****How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**

Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph
 * 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary.**
 * 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending?**
 * 3.****How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**