Danilo

Danilo Koprivica 2. Topic:#6 Fear is one of the dominant themes of the Chrysalids. Thesis: Fear is the greatest motivator for the crimes and discrimination found in everyday society. (great thesis; I've edited it just a bit, Mr. A)

3. Brainstorming Worksheet 4. Essay outline 5. First Draft of your essay: Introduction Paragraph Fear plays an important role in our lives. It is the fundamental emotion to our survival. It is the emotion that tells you to turn back when something is not quite right and your life is at risk. Erase the "the" between is and emotion and change it to an. The "you life is at risk" part sounds weird when you're relating it to something not quite right. What makes fear so effective is it distinguishes when something is different from the usual. Put "that" between is and it. However, sometimes fear can stray from the purpose in which it fights for, and be used in a totally different manner which is neither rational nor sane. This is the result of underestimating fear, and how quickly it can go from simple intolerance of different races, to mass murder of races like those seen in WW2 and also in the Chrysalids, where the people of Waknuk don't accept the deviations as "people" because they are scared of the deviations ,just because they are different from the everyday society, and so are banished to the fringes as a result. Erase the "and" between WW2 an in the Chrysalids and put a period This shows that fear is the greatest motivator for the crimes and discrimination found in everyday society. good narrowing of focus, some phrasing challenges, don't forget that your thesis is the last sentence in your intro

Edit: Fear plays an important role in our lives. It is the fundamental emotion to our survival. It is the emotion that tells you to turn back when something is not quite right and your life is at risk.What makes fear so effective is that it distinguishes when something is different from the usual. However, sometimes fear can stray from the purpose in which it fights for (can be better phrased), and be used in a totally different manner which is neither rational nor sane. This is the result of underestimating fear, and how quickly it can go from simple intolerance of different races, to mass murder of races like those seen in WW2. (awkward transition, you're just jumping into the novel) Also in the Chrysalids, where the people of Waknuk don't accept the deviations as "people" because they are scared of the deviations ,just because they are different from the everyday society, and so are banished to the fringes as a result ( convoluted sentence, consider revising) .This shows that fear is the greatest motivator for the crimes and discrimination found in everyday society ( avoid absolutes).

Body paragraph #1:Argument: People overreact to certain situations when they otherwise would not.

Crime in our society happens not because one person suddenly decides to go against the rules,precepts,and morals of everyday society, but rather is a complex process filled with choices and dilemmas that eventually leads to the crime. For many, crime is a last resort and choice when they have nothing else left. As a result of this, people at this stage do not think rationally anymore, but rather instinctively to survive.For instance, statistical evidence shows people who live in poverty are more likely to commit crime then people who do not live in poverty because they do not have anything else but to steal and commit crime to survive.Likewise, this can be compared to the people of Waknuk, where they fear anything that is different from the usual. However, their fear is not born out of desperation like people who live in poverty, but rather is a more general fear about their whole society and community as a whole, and their fear of change is what makes them commit crime.People who are afraid of change can sometimes think in terms of race, because race is the one thing people find familiarity in and anything that is different will "sully" and change it, and people will sometimes act in desperation to save it, like in WWII with Hitler massacring a whole race to avoid any change to the German race. And of course also in the chrysalids, where to avoid any change to their race and society they attempt to send anyone who is different to the fringes, as to keep everything "pure" and as little change from happening as possible.To illustrate, this can be seen in the words of Joseph Strorm, Davids father and a symbol of the majority of Waknuks values and beliefs, where he said in response to Aunt Harriett remarks "So there has been a deviation; and deviation, any deviation from the true image is a blasphemy-no less". This illustrates the belief of Waknuk, to protect their race from any change occurring, however small it may be. In short, fear can cause people to act for the short term,whether it is to survive, or to protect a society from change, people are not aware of the rational choice, which is usually the far better one in any given situation.

Body Paragraph #2:Argument: People discriminate against people who are different from themselves

Discrimination found in our society is due to the differences found in society, and this can be seen everywhere in the world. Discrimination is the result of putting down a different race, person, or culture just because of differences and conflicts from the everyday customs of modern day society conflicting with a totally different alien one. Furthermore, because of differences, people are more likely to discriminate because they do not completely understand a different culture or race. For instance, little intolerance and discrimination of a race can germinate into something much more serous, like a gang war. This can be seen as a fear of the unknown, and can lead to serous conflicts.For example, gang wars usually feature the same race in one group and another race in the other group. This is the result because people connect and find security in gangs that share a common thing, and offer protection against other races and cultures. This is the result of fear taking hold in people because of differences, and can be seen in the saying of the sea land woman int the chrysalids where she responded to the men of Waknuk defending their society,"Whether harsh intolerance and bitter rectitude are the armour worn over fear and disappointment, or whether they are the festival-dress of the sadist, they cover an enemy by the life-force". This quote shows the bitter resentment of the people of Waknuk to differences and change in their society, and shows that their resentment and intolerance towards differences and change is actually fear of the unknown, and what will happen if change occurs. This is still true in modern day society, where people still show intolerance to Muslims because of their description in modern day society as terrorists, because people do not actually understand the culture and the actually people, and so just assume based on little inferences drawn from the media and what they say. As a result, people assume things about other people who are different because they do not fully understand them, and this is the major cause of discrimination in our society.

Body Paragraph #3:Argument: Children brought up and raised under a certain belief influence will retain their values and beliefs even after they grow up

You may have heard the expression "little pictures have big ears''. This refers to the fact that young kids have a keen sense of what is going on around them, and learn very quickly despite what many people tend to think. What kids hear, learn, and the environment they live in all influence how they think and act when they grow up. For instance, a mother who talks french to her child as a baby will see her child speak french when her child grows up. Likewise, a parent who teaches his/her child certain beliefs and values will see her child grow up with these beliefs and values even after they grow up. This is why you will still see discrimination in modern day society because previous generations pass on their beliefs and values to their kids,and that is why it is very hard to undo the thinking and belief found in people. To illustrate, even after the American civil war ended and slavery was abolished, the people living in the southern states still held the racist belief of black people that they were the lesser "race" and could be treated as slaves. This is because the people living in the southern states as children saw slavery of black people around them as "normal", and that is the belief they held with them when they grew up, and did not see anything wrong with it. To demonstrate in the Chrysalids, when David,Rosalind, and Petra were getting ready to go to the fringes, Petra started getting afraid as illustrated in this quotation:'" She did not, it emerged from her snuffles, want to go to the Fringes, her mind was sorely troubled by thoughts of old Maggie, and Hairy jack and his family, and the other ominous nursery-threat characters said to lurk in those regions. It would have been easier to pacify her her has we not ourselves suffered from quite a residue of childhood apprehensions". This illustrates the the fight between logic and the values and beliefs one learns as a child, and as a result shows the magnitude of how they influence us even after we we grow up and develop.

Conclusion: As a society we have to ask ourselves, is the discrimination and crime we find in our everyday society avoidable, and it can be treated quickly if we act fast enough? For every way we look at it, crime happens in many forms, whether it is to protect a society from change, or to act instinctively for ones own survival, crime is usually the product of fear and fear alone. In the same way, discrimination itself is born out of fear. People themselves don't realize this, and how quickly it can escalate into rivalry gangs or bloody wars and mass murders. As a result,we ourselves as people living in a society have to train ourselves to recognize these signs, if we are to anyway help build our society in a peaceful way and manner for generations to come.

6. Peer Comments Willie-Introduction Paragraph Simin -Body Paragraph Alex- Concluding Paragraph

**1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis?** **2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**

Person 2 - Body Paragraphs **1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters?** **2.****How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**

Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph **1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary.** **2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending?** **3.****How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?**